Finding what motivates isn’t always easy. But once you do, great things can be accomplished!

A change of heart. We have been struggling with several issues in our house. A reluctant potty trainer, a messy kindergartner, and a lazy preteen plague my productive side and keep me pulling hair out when I should be getting things done. I had turned away from traditional methods of behavior modification (rewards and charts) for fear that it was teaching my kids to only act out of self-interest. But let’s face it… any kid that’s willing to sit in their own crap all day long isn’t thinking much about anyone, including their own needs.

Find your chart. Desperate for change, I turned to the internet for some free downloadable reward charts. There were hundreds: some colorful, some simple, a few with favorite characters, and a couple of bizarre ones from distant lands. The choices were many, and I was ready to get started.

Pick your goals. Since it is too much for a kid to work on too many habits at once, pick the top two and run with it. (We went with potty training and naps – which were eating into my time and my laundry.) You can also choose to have a chart with two habits or two charts with an emphasis on each. Place the chart in the room where the behavior will take place. We have a chart in the bathroom and one in the bedroom. The kids know exactly where to go to see their progress, and it reminds them of their goals throughout the day.

Get feedback on rewards. You may think you know your child well-enough to pick out the perfect reward. But just to be sure, ask them for their input. I was shocked when each and every reward my kids asked for were related to food (sweets, actually.) After a week of good nap behavior they will now get ice cream. After a poop on the potty – a sucker or other candy. See a pattern here? (It’s cheaper than a pony!)

As with anything, reward charts will lose their flair, and habits will soon be performed without thought. Once they master something, be sure to continue praising them verbally, and if they find themselves stuck on a new skill, bust out a new chart. For a full selection of free printable charts, check out these nifty ones from SuperNanny.com (they even have one for moms!)